Black Girls Rock!

My name is Karla, and I am a Black Girl who Rocks.

This is how all of the honourees at BET's annual Black Girls Rock awards ceremony end their acceptance speeches. I know this because on a muggy Sunday September afternoon, I turned the channel over to Sky's BET during the ad break from a Friends episode, to watch a re-run from last year's awards show and an hour later I'm still watching, completely in love and inspired by all of these women.
From the recipients of the M.A.D Girls awards (Making A Difference) - motivated young women who take action to inspire their communities by doing things like creating Green superheroes and touring schools and leading workshops promoting the ethical agenda from age 7 (Brooklyn Wright), to Mary Pat Hector the 17 year old calling for teen activism to see that black youth in her community don't slip through the net - to Activism awards for Chicago based "Interrupter" Ameena Matthews, as well as living legends Queen Latifah and Patti Labelle.

The winner who inspired me to write this post, was the recipient of the Shot-Caller Award, Mara Brock-Akil, the producer and writer of Black led shows Girlfriends aka the "black Sex And The City" and new TV show Being Mary Jane starring Gabrielle Union from Bring It On fame and the first Black romantic interest in Friends). I don't know how many of you know this, but it is a dream to write a TV comedy series. I spent this last summer in the US where I am in the process of moving to researching and nest searching so I can chase this writing dream, starting with a course at the UCB in New York. I usually cite my inspirations as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler - incredible comedic writing talents who started out in improv like me, but that is because I feel a glaring absence of Black women to look up to, women who might be able to fulfill a similar role. Mara Brock-Akil's acceptance speech echoed my sentiments.

"Everywhere we turn, we see our beauty reflected. Unless you're Black. And a girl...And when there is an image that resembles us, oftentimes on closer inspection, it's not us..."

For as long as I can remember, I have been on a search for Black female comedians who speak the same language as me. A writer and comedian who from London, from a Jamaican family, who went to a private school (thank you John Whitgift Foundation and your bursars for funding my brain) and so doesn't subscribe to many of the stereotypes that mainstream media likes to perpetuate.

As I mentioned in this post, Youtube has been a great source of alternative voices, but I think there needs to be MOAR!!

And that, my friends, is my lifetime's mission. To be the Black Tina Fey. To be a new Hannah Pool aka the only English winner of a Black Girls Rock Award. To be the person I want to see in the world.

Wish me luck!

Lots of love,
Karla x

I found out what the hell Spike Lee was doing at the Vila Isabel quadra in Rio...!!

So as you'll all know from reading my posts, my friend Spike Lee showed up a couple of times to samba rehearsals at the samba school I paraded with, Vila Isabel.

Me and my mate Spike, hanging out

Now I know why...

He was scouting for his latest "joint", which turns out to be a film for something calling itself 'Pepsi Beats of the Beautiful Game'. The song, entitled "The Game" is sung by Miss Kelly Rowland, and video has a story of its own.

The video tells a fictional tale of a young football fanatic living in Vidigal (a favela in Rio's South Zone). "Pixote's Game"  stars my fellow passista, Pedro, as a 'John' (or a pimp, not quite sure...) as well as the mestre and other members of the bateria of Vila Isabel.

Watch it in all its glory below.

beijos,

Karla x

With both hands!

Last month I spent the day at a seminar that has changed the way I think about life.  It was hosted by an amazing, inspirational woman, Sidra Jafri who shook me, and a room full of attendees, by the shoulders (not literally, but she might as well had) and told us to stop making excuses, break down those self imposed barriers and start opening our eyes and minds to the opportunities all around.

For a long time I've been really struggling to find some balance in my life.  There's been a whopping great imbalance between immersing myself in things that I love but that have become safe, vs those that I need WANT to do for myself, but require more work, and are all together more scary. It's left me feeling like I've lost a bit of myself, and the sense of detachment from achieving some of my goals have left me frustrated and sad at times.

After Sidra's workshop, I've felt more at ease with myself and my situation, and I've been more aware and capable of changing what I don't like. One thing that she positively branded onto my mind is this: when the Universe, God, life or what ever higher being/purpose you do or don't believe, in drops an opportunity at your feet you, you pick it up! DON'T waste it through fear or doubt.  Last week I had a great lesson in this.

My Wednesday last week turned from being a normal humpday to a good day and then great a day.  Why? Because I let it - simple.  I woke up feeling good. My plan was straighforward enough, to have a morning run (I've had runners block for nearly a year) and this was going set me up for a day of writing.   But before I had even left the house for that run, the Universe had already been conspiring to make this Wednesday into a goodun.

Outside comfortable

This little nugget I found it thanks to @leannerimes while perusing twitter, will be making its way to a wall near me asap.

Being comfortable and sticking with what you know will not get you what you want to achieve.  I know this, we all know this right, and somehow it's something that many of us have to constantly remind ourselves.
I know for sure that I could do with a daily reminder of this.




Kanika x

Happy 2014!

Come on 2014 give us what you got!

Couldn't agree with you more Winston

However the last 12 months have shaped up for you, wishing you all a fantastic 2014.

Don't know why but we've got a feeling it's gonna be a goodun!


Karla & Kanika x

Graff Attack

The weekend before last I went on a Graffiti Tour with one of my BFF's Lo.

You've been warned!

We both love graffiti and street art so when I saw a discount offer on Time Out I said yes please I'll be having some of that.

The tour hosted by Great British Tours took us round a small area off and around Brick Lane in East London. It's somewhere I've been to loads of times but never really stopped to take in all graffiti.

This is what I think Mother Earth would look like

So off we went.  There are loads of fantastic pieces ranging from huge artworks and murals to with tags and tiny pieces you'd miss without an eagle eye.  They included pieces that had been commissioned and impromptu work. Walls, pavements, streets, shop stutters, doorways any and everything was a canvas.  Lots of different techniques: spray paint, stencils, paints, posters, 3D stuff too. Some of it had clear political or social messages others not, some well know artists and others unknown to the tour guide.

One of my favourites

Someone's electricity meter got a makeover

Angry Stick men by Stik

#OKNotToBeOK

Some of you might have noticed that it has been a while since the last post.

And that this last post, a tender revelation from my co-blogger Kanika, may have seemed off-brand from our usual jovial tone. But in all honesty, this is exactly the reason she and I began writing here. This blog, to us meant an honest open space where we could explore our true selves and our innermost feelings. And not everyone feels super positive 100% of the time.

People who know me, usually envisage a big smiling face, but may not be aware that sometimes I feel 'blue' (as a result of PMDD) and need to hide away and recharge for days at a time to maintain the level of 'up-ness' that I like to show to the world. My highs are as high as they appear, but the low periods - of which there are many - are equally low. Low, dark and dangerous.

Many of us can relate to these feelings of depression and desperation but so few of us ever talk about it.

What to do when things don't go to plan?

I’ve been pretty silent on the blog front of late. Save from the odd tweet, you’ve not heard much from me in the last couple of months.  

Why?  Because my 2013 has turned out to be pretty shit so far!

I went into this year full of hope that, for the first time in a long time, things were really gonna be good and my life was finally beginning to come together. Ha! That didn’t last long.

My relationship ended.  

A close relative of mine has mental health issues and while, thankfully, they have been doing better following a recent bout of depression, the stress of their ongoing illness and the impact it’s had on my family has become too much.  

The new job I was so excited to start, working for a great organisation that I was proud to be part of and was actually enjoying my role....as of this week, I no longer work there.

I’ve found it difficult to cope with the personal setbacks I’ve had this year.  I’ve tried to remain positive and not fall off the good path that I started on last year, but at the moment that feels impossible.
Initially I threw myself into things, working, writing, going to seminars, making sure I had something to look forward to every week to try and occupy my mind and keep forging on.  It didn’t block out all my negative feelings or sadness but it certainly helped.   Gradually though, over the course of this year and as more has happened, I’ve continued to feel worse about my personal situation and the direction my life feels like it’s heading in.

The last 2 months have been the worst, hence the relative silent.  My confidence is as low as it has been.  I’ve been on daily a cycle of feeling crap, having something to take my mind of it but then feeling crap again when it was over.  I’ve withdrawn from situations and lost the motivation to push myself and engage in others.  I don’t feel like myself and I haven’t for a long time.

I DID IT!

Reader, I removed them!

After months of threatening, umming and ahhing, debating and procrastinating, I, Karla-Jayne Elizabeth (yep!) Thomas am now braid-free and it feels good. My head felt lighter. My curls are super bouncy and lovely and I am filled with hope and refreshed by a change of style.

But suddenly my clothes don't seem to fit the same. My earrings don't work and my make up seems out of place. I look different and I feel different.


The thing that people underestimate when they go natural is the ability to still 'do you'. I've been in and out of long braids for the past 4 years and my personality and style was inextricably linked with my having waist-length hair. I would wear boyish outfits relying on wearing my hair down and long to create a feminine, girly-girl-in-boyfriend's-clothes look instead of just looking butch (nothing against looking butch, it's just not my style).

Long hair = sexiness/ femininity/ sensuality, right?

But I was prepared for this, wasn't I? I have talked before about how people would complain when I first took the braids out:
"Oh but the braids were soooo niiice!"
"Noooooo!!!"
"Why did you change your hair?"

and my personal favourite
"WHHYY did you cut your hair?!"

In reminding these people, I also need to remind myself that I am still the same person as I was with the braids, in all my ridiculous face-making glory - I AM the same woman.

Actually my hair is in pretty good condition. I tried to take care of it while I was in Brasil, using heat protecting products, any shampoo/conditioner/oil including 'karite' (shea) or Argan oil I could find; wetting my hair and running olive oil through it whenever I could remember  every other day, and conditioning, conditioning, conditioning.

So now I have healthy hair which has grown remarkably well:

...despite shrinkage making it look like I have a curly bob...

Whatever. It's my hair and I choose to make the most of it, curls and all.

Who runs the world?!

Women of the World stand up!

This Friday, March 8th is International Women's day.  Whether or not you find that yay or groan inducing, I'll be celebrating by attending a slew of lady orientated shindigs.

This weekend i'll be heading to the WOW - Women of the World festival at the Southbank.  I have my Saturday and Sunday Day passes, woot woot, and I can't wait to sample the delights of Weave vs Natural? The politics of Afro Hair chaired by Hannah Pool, Ruby Wax's 'Out of her Mind', The Guys Guide to Feminism and many others. My hungry mind is positively licking it's lascivious lips!

Kanika x

Rio de Jan-HAIR-o

Brasil is a beautiful country with such a rich mixed heritage that it is impossible not to see this in the people. It's the country where Africa meets Portugal and they combine with the country's indigenous races. Not to mention the German communities in the South of the country where they live side by side with Japanese and Italians...

The women and their hair types are representative of this uberblend.

Since I've been back in Rio, I am taking special note of all the mulheres working natural curls over here.

Here are some ;Natural beauties I've spotted so far who everyday give me the courage to eventually taking my braids out...

What’s on your New List?

How are those New Year's resolutions coming?

We’re less than a week into 2013 so the chances are that most of you will still be keeping up with your New Year's resolutions (for now).  But some of you I’m sure will already be taking wanton liberties with your resolutions, promising yourselves that, ‘Next week I'll definitely get back on the wagon’  *Sigh*

It’s always the same isn’t it?  We start off so well, full of renewed resolve, but come February we’re struggling to stick with even one of our New Year's promises.  Going cold turkey, detoxing your way into a new you, and then feeling rubbish when you fall short, isn’t the best motivator for self improvement.  Here’s a suggestion. Ever thought about not making NY resolutions?

I did this a few years ago and here’s why.

1) I’m no good at them.

2) Working on yourself and your foibles is a gradual process.  If you’ve ever been able to wake up one morning (be it the beginning of a new year or not) and miraculously change something about yourself you disliked, please tell me how you did it.   

3) My main reason for letting go of New Year’s resolutions is down to a pearl of wisdom once imparted to me and my A-level Art class.  Our sage teacher (big up Mrs CM) once told us that, ‘Time flies when you’re having fun girls, but you know something, it goes even fasted the older you get’.

It’s true! When we’re kids days can seem like weeks but the older we get there never seem to be enough hours in the day. It took me until my early twenties to start appreciating Mrs CM’s piece of enlightenment. Four years at Uni had gone by in a flash, so the year I left, I decided to invest less in New Year’s resolutions and concentrate more on my New List. 

When You Gonna... Start Being More Assertive

As a woman who looks a) MUCH younger than I am and b) like perhaps a bit of a soft touch, I've grown accustomed to putting up with things I may not necessarily enjoy. For example, last week while out catching up with an old friend, I was happened upon by an old Jamaican man who took me by the hand and danced with me because I looked like a 'nice girl'.  Despite the fact that I didn't know him, he smelled like a rabbit hutch that rabbits had pooped in and his beard appeared to contain remnants of food, I indulged him and danced for what I considered a sufficient period of time before faking a toilet break.

Another time, I made the mistake of accidentally making eye contact with a man while boarding a train from London to Manchester. Naturally, he came and sat next to me so he could quiz me about my life, my 'Jamaicanness' and to demand that we be friends when we arrive in Manchester even though I told him I had a (made up) boyfriend. Eventually, around Salford, I managed to pretend to go to sleep and popped some headphones in for a bit of peace and quiet.

On a holiday in Barcelona, I saw someone playing the guitar on the street wearing a leopard print dress. Naturally when he looked at me, I smiled but went back to eating my meal. He came over to play for me. Despite my not having any money to give him/ignoring him and trying to talk with my friend, this happened:

This is a typical example of what I'm talking about.

But why didn't you say no or ask them to leave you alone? I hear you ask. Because friends, I, like many other women, have learned to fear The Switch. The Switch is what happens when an overfriendly stranger becomes a threatening maniac at the drop of a hat.

Catalysts for The Switch tend to be the rejection of:

• flyers
• attempts at courtship (like the grabbing of a hand or the public whistle/shout out)
• offers of friendship
• requests for money.

The Switch can and usually does happen when you least expect it. You've had a long day and don't have the energy to entertain craziness and then BAM! Crazy finds you. You're standing at a bus stop, get your phone out and just about catch a man smiling in your direction. When you don't smile back, he shouts at you, calls you 'evil' and tells everyone on the bus that you're 'slut who means nothing' (true story.) You're on the bus to your house when a boy wearing a hood in the summertime announces, from the back of the bus, that "You're not that hot anyway AND you sound posh" if you don't give him your phone number.

Now I know this may sound trivial, but it plagues me as I plod through life. Sometimes, I just want to read my book or stare out of the window, or not have to hold hands with a stranger. But the polite, people pleasing 80% of me just screws me over. The side of me that doesn't want any trouble, doesn't want to have to deal with confrontation or anything resembling an unpleasant situation.

I have pleasant memories of the one time I avoided The Switch entirely by anticipating an incoming Crazy and before he said anything I scowled at him and said "I am NOT in the mood." He stopped dead in his tracks and I marched on, victorious.

Maybe I just need to grow a pair and get over it, but it's hard y'know?

Excuses, excuses...


Ok. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to just say "No. Not today guys. I don't care if you don't think I'm a nice person anymore - I have enough people who I've tricked into thinking I'm nice around me to care about what you think. I don't even know you and your beard smells of rabbits. Leave me be sir, leave me be."

I'll let you know how that works out...



Karla

When You Gonna... Find a nice man and settle down?

"I'm not holding my tongue anymore," my mother informed me one morning last week. "By your age you really should be married. When are you going to find a nice man and settle down? You should be looking for a husband. No more of this 'just seeing how it goes' rubbish."

Thanks Mum.

The reason this came up was because I was getting ready to go visit my good friend A in Sweden for her engagement party. We had met on the first day of university 9 years ago and been friends ever since.
A and I are the same age and have been through lots of boy crap together (the Guy who dressed like a pirate, the Conjoined fingers Guy, the French Guy who arranged a date then forgot to show, the hippy Guy who turned up at the family home after the breakup...) so it's been wonderful to see her so happy and loved up with her now fiance.

However it did make me start thinking about dating, or the more English 'Seeing Someone'. Isn't it all just round after round of Spouse Auditions? Do they make you laugh? Is there chemistry? Do you have similar ambitions? Can you fart in front of them? (My mum thinks this is the litmus test of a lasting relationship.) Can you spend prolonged periods of time with this other person without wanting to kill them?

So proud I could cry

I'm not American and I've already spoken about the weighted attention I think we in the UK pay to the US, but this is different. I remember four years ago when Barack Obama first got elected, waking up and feeling that the world was different. Now little Black boys everywhere could look up to someone, the President of the United States of America and say out loud, "If he can do that - not least with a name as ethnic as Barack Obama - so can I".

Finally rappers, gangsters and perpetrators of the benefits of so called 'Thug Life' had competition, there was someone else for little boys to look up to and aspire to be like. A man who stands for progress, from introducing something resembling a fair healthcare system to America (I still can't believe how many people had to suffer because of how expensive PRESCRIPTIONS are) to acknowledging that people in love should be able to get married, whether they are gay or straight.

My sister had a little boy last year and I can only say how happy I am that he is growing up in a time where he will always be able to know there was a Black face (yes, yes, I know Barack is mixed race, but he's literally the same shade as my nephew, so...) and a whole Black family (no absentee dads here!) in the White House.


Thank you America for voting, and thank you Barack Obama for being awesome.



Karla

Sandy VS The World

When will we get over our obsession with New York? Don't get me wrong, I've lived and worked in the Big Apple and love it just as much as the next guy but come on London! Friends, Sex and The City, Woody Allen - I blame you.

Hurricane Sandy, the affectionately named 'SuperStorm' hit the Caribbean about two weeks ago causing irreparable damage and claiming lives across the board in countries such as Jamaica, Cuba, the Dominican Republic and poor old Haiti, still coming back from last years' devastating earthquake.

This week, however, all over the press were images of people sailing to the house next door to borrow a power cable or amusing signs in front of shops declaring themselves bruised but not broken and fully stocked with beer for people to drink and forget their problems.

Harlem - Surviving and imbibing!
via gramfeed.com

Now I'm not trying to make light of what is clearly a city's efforts to maintain morale and rebuild itself after homes were ruined and lives were lost... I just ask where the coverage from the rest of the devastation is? Where can I find amusing images of notes to Sandy with love from Kingston. Pictures of power cables sticking out of houses for those without power to use? Barak Obama isn't going down there to ensure the rescue effort is as efficient as it should be - even if Portia Simpson Miller or Michael Joseph Martelly is touring the Jamaica or Haiti, how would we even know?!

I just want to see one appeal for these guys, a few photos in the corner of page 2 to show they're doing ok and then I'll shut up.



Karla