A year in hair....well almost

'Hair as a metaphor for life', is how the idea behind our blog has been summed up.


Sounds ridiculous? Well, not really.  For me definitely and for Miss Karla, there's a lot of truth in that statement.  What we've done with our hair has, many times reflected what we were or weren't doing with ourselves.  Karla for example this year finally took out her braid extensions, writing about the experience here.  They had become her equivalent of a hair blanky that she was slowly having to ween herself off,  and now, she's having a whole heap of fun with her new, freer do.  I can personally vouch that her shiny, super soft head of healthy hair is looking very cute indeed and is currently accompanying her are she gets ready to fulfill one of her life dreams: dancing with a famous Rio Samba School for Rio Carnival 2014.


My hair.....hmmm, my hair is hanging on in there despite some odious instances of neglect this year.

Fascinator, pompadour &
victory rolls for a
40's style party

At the start of 2013 I was all about trying new stuff. I was all over the retro updos (left), pinning, headscarves and quiffs. I dusted of my Curlformers like I said I would and managed to master my own take on a Rose the Riveter do (below right).  

At some point this year my hair and I entered into a long distant relationship. As I got busier, more stressed and feeling less like my myself the fun of experimenting fizzled out. Lack of time and inclination meant that chunky twists pinned back in simple updos became my go to style. Quickish, practical and low maintenance, praise be!

Scarf purchase courtesy
of Brixton Market

In May I finally visited the hairdressers for a straighten 'n' trim, my first in 2 years (I know, I know, will never, ever leave it that long again to get a trim), the split ends and fairy knots were too much to bear.  Sadly, there are no joyous pics of me frolicking about with my shorter, straight hair, and it wasn't coz I couldn't fix my face long enough for pouting over the shorter length to take a decent pic. Truth be told I was disappointed that despite my careful maintenance, my bra strap length hair (yep it was that long, sniff) was getting sizeable chop coz the ends were in a sorry state.  However, better more consistent care would have prevented that in the first place, so I had to take it like a big girl and remember my hair was better off. Anyway, aside from that I was too busy and too feeling stressed to give a damn about posing for hair selfies, which I suck at taking anyway.

Where's your head at?

Just over a year ago, armed with our laptops, Karla and I met at a local cafe: warm, free wifi, the most amazing hot chocolate, a resident cat and laid back enough to allow you to bring your own food, perfect for two skint ladies on a mission!

We'd been talking about starting a blog for ages but this was the first time we'd met to properly bash out ideas.  In my head, and staying nicely within my comfort zone, this was all it was gonna be, pre-planning before we took the plunge. To my surprise (and alarm that I tried my best to hide from Karla), a couple of hours later we had a real life blog and our first post.  It was the push I needed to start making my things happen!

A lot has happened for both of us this year, some good, some bad, but for me, most of it has not been what I had hoped or wanted for 2013. This year was about moving forward, about seriously starting to sort my life.  I didn't expect everything to go my way, or not have any setbacks, but whatever happened I thought I would be able to handle it, pick myself up and keep moving.   It didn't happen like that.

Back in June, a few days after loosing my new job I wrote about how I was feeling.  Karla encouraged me to do this and to use it as a way of starting to look ahead,  but I felt totally rubbish at that time and didn't have much capacity for feeling positive.  Sorting myself had come to a screeching and premature halt!

I've found it hard to put into words how I was feeling, but I was, and sometimes still am, struggling with the feelings of stress and depression. I was reluctant for long while to use the D word. It's not something I thought I would ever experience personally.
Why? Why is it difficult to admit?   I know there's no shame in it, I know most people experience it as some point in their lives.
I lived with someone with depression. I saw how, for 18 months a close relative of mine struggled to get out of bed, stopped taking basic care of themselves and was unable to do the simpliest things. They became a shadow of the person they previously were, and gave up on the possibility of seeing any improvement in their life. Although this year I have felt as low as I have ever done before, I was never as a bad as that, was I?

WhenYouGonna is on Instagram!

We are now Instagramming pics of our favourite Naturals as well as daily do updates for your viewing pleasure :-)

Follow WhenYouGonna on Instagram here http://instagram.com/whenyougonna

With #instalove,

Karla and Kanika x

Brooklyn's Natural Beauties

In continuation from my last, slightly stalkerish post, in which I showed you all some of the hottest Naturalites spotted at Brooklyn's 2013 AFROPUNK Fest last month; I wanted to introduce you to some of my favourites.

Brooklyn's Natural Beauty Exhibit A: TESSA 

NAME: Tessa Kagbala
Age: 29
NATURAL FOR: 12 years.
Tessa's family are Rastafarian and she went natural to challenge the ideas of beauty that were around her every day.

2 MUST HAVE PRODUCTS:
- Karen's Body Beautiful Sweet Ambrosia (available from Target or online) and
- Natural Shea butter + Olive Oil

Tessa's Top Tip:
Use Bentonite clay wash regularly to cleanse your hair from root to tip without stripping it of its natural oils.



Follow Tessa's blog at www.afroista.com  She is more than just a chick with a 'fro...

Brooklyn's Natural Beauty Exhibit B: BETHLEHEM

NAME: Bethlehem
NATURAL FOR: 7 years.
Bethlehem is natively from Ethiopia and although had used relaxers before, hated depending on it to feel good. She grew out her relaxer and one day took a breath and cut her ends off herself into her sink! Since then she's tried various styles and experiments regularly with her curls.

2 MUST HAVE PRODUCTS:
- Queen Helene's Royal Curl Shaping Creme available to buy online
- Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave-In Conditioner

Bethlehem's Top Tips: Buy inexpensive Natural hair products from www.terressentials.com.
In Ethiopia women often put butter in their hair before washing... But that doesn't work (and it smells.) So she created her own special Pre-Poo mix:
Ingredients:
Egg yolks
Oil (olive, jojoba or Moroccan, whichever you prefer)
Coconut Cream
Avocado

Whisk the egg yolk and oil together bit by bit to create mayonnaise. Then add the coconut cream and avocado. Add more oil as needed and coat your hair. Cover your hair and do your business. Wash out after a couple of hours and boom - soft, beautiful curls!

Brooklyn's Natural Beauties Exhibits C-F: PARIS, JULES, ZAHRA and NDELEA

NAMES (l-r): Zahra, Paris, Jules, and Ndelea
NATURAL FOR: 16 years, 13years, 10 years, 15years!

Interestingly, they all went Natural in their teens years, rejecting the image of straight haired beauty that surrounded them. Zahra grew up in Hawaii and said she didn't have a colour complex, but instead wanted hair she could run her fingers through, like the other girls. Eventually though she had a realisation: "I can be beautiful in a way that can represent beauty for others."

2 MUST HAVE PRODUCTS:
Z - Apple Cider Vinegar  and Olive oil. "If you can't find it in the kitchen, you don't need to use it!"
P - Nature's Blessing Sweet Almond Oil and that's it!
J - Water! And Jojoba oil - which she'd been using for years but was so clueless after first going Natural, she was calling it 'Joe-Joe-buh' oil. Needless to say she has much more of an clue these days...
N - Shea Butter is a must have. "And whatever else I can find in the kitchen."

Brooklyn's Natural Beauty Exhibit G: JENNIFER

NAME: Jennifer

Age: 29
NATURAL FOR: 12 years
Jennifer had been Natural and had long hair until she had it relaxed before high school. After it breaking and not being as long as it had in the past, she decided to go back to natural hair at the age of 17 and hasn't looked back as her hair is relatively easy to maintain!

JENNIFER'S 2 MUST-HAVE PRODUCTS:
- Miss Jessie's Curly Butter Cream
- Miss Jessie's Supersweetback Treatment

Big up Miss Jessie which you can buy in the UK online from the Curly Emporium here :-)

Brooklyn's Natural Beauties Exhibits H and I: ADAMA AND SIQUELE

NAMES: Siquele and Adama (Meaning "Queenly") 

AGES: 29 and 'A Lady Never Tells'
NATURAL FOR: 12 years for both

Siaquele decided she was through with relaxers. She was tired of conforming to the neat pretty look and so wanted to grow out her natural curls. She loves her baby curls so much, she shaves her hair down every February to rock a refreshed new look.
Adama grew her locs as an experiment and now wears waist length hair. At AFROPUNK fest she told me she was trying out a shorter look by twisting up her locs ahead of chopping them off...but, by the end of the day had decided she preferred her long hair.

2 MUST HAVE PRODUCTS:
S - Natural Shea Butter and Aloe Vera Gel
A - Natural Shea Butter and Coconut Oil - Simple is best.



All Hail the Brooklyn Beauties.


Karla x

AFROPUNK 2013

Last week I got back from a trip to New York, during which I went to the very cool (and free!) AFROPUNK FEST!

AFROPUNK is a Brooklyn based 2-day, all day festival that celebrates the best in Black Alternative music. Last year's lineup included Janelle Monáe and Erykah Badu, and this yeart saw Public Enemy's Chuck D, ?uestlove from the Roots and Theophilus London hitting the stage, as well as some lesser known but equally excellent groups (Look up Vintage Trouble - very charismatic James Brown-esque disco/rock outfit).

The 9th AFROPUNK FEST line up

#OKNotToBeOK

Some of you might have noticed that it has been a while since the last post.

And that this last post, a tender revelation from my co-blogger Kanika, may have seemed off-brand from our usual jovial tone. But in all honesty, this is exactly the reason she and I began writing here. This blog, to us meant an honest open space where we could explore our true selves and our innermost feelings. And not everyone feels super positive 100% of the time.

People who know me, usually envisage a big smiling face, but may not be aware that sometimes I feel 'blue' (as a result of PMDD) and need to hide away and recharge for days at a time to maintain the level of 'up-ness' that I like to show to the world. My highs are as high as they appear, but the low periods - of which there are many - are equally low. Low, dark and dangerous.

Many of us can relate to these feelings of depression and desperation but so few of us ever talk about it.

What to do when things don't go to plan?

I’ve been pretty silent on the blog front of late. Save from the odd tweet, you’ve not heard much from me in the last couple of months.  

Why?  Because my 2013 has turned out to be pretty shit so far!

I went into this year full of hope that, for the first time in a long time, things were really gonna be good and my life was finally beginning to come together. Ha! That didn’t last long.

My relationship ended.  

A close relative of mine has mental health issues and while, thankfully, they have been doing better following a recent bout of depression, the stress of their ongoing illness and the impact it’s had on my family has become too much.  

The new job I was so excited to start, working for a great organisation that I was proud to be part of and was actually enjoying my role....as of this week, I no longer work there.

I’ve found it difficult to cope with the personal setbacks I’ve had this year.  I’ve tried to remain positive and not fall off the good path that I started on last year, but at the moment that feels impossible.
Initially I threw myself into things, working, writing, going to seminars, making sure I had something to look forward to every week to try and occupy my mind and keep forging on.  It didn’t block out all my negative feelings or sadness but it certainly helped.   Gradually though, over the course of this year and as more has happened, I’ve continued to feel worse about my personal situation and the direction my life feels like it’s heading in.

The last 2 months have been the worst, hence the relative silent.  My confidence is as low as it has been.  I’ve been on daily a cycle of feeling crap, having something to take my mind of it but then feeling crap again when it was over.  I’ve withdrawn from situations and lost the motivation to push myself and engage in others.  I don’t feel like myself and I haven’t for a long time.

I DID IT!

Reader, I removed them!

After months of threatening, umming and ahhing, debating and procrastinating, I, Karla-Jayne Elizabeth (yep!) Thomas am now braid-free and it feels good. My head felt lighter. My curls are super bouncy and lovely and I am filled with hope and refreshed by a change of style.

But suddenly my clothes don't seem to fit the same. My earrings don't work and my make up seems out of place. I look different and I feel different.


The thing that people underestimate when they go natural is the ability to still 'do you'. I've been in and out of long braids for the past 4 years and my personality and style was inextricably linked with my having waist-length hair. I would wear boyish outfits relying on wearing my hair down and long to create a feminine, girly-girl-in-boyfriend's-clothes look instead of just looking butch (nothing against looking butch, it's just not my style).

Long hair = sexiness/ femininity/ sensuality, right?

But I was prepared for this, wasn't I? I have talked before about how people would complain when I first took the braids out:
"Oh but the braids were soooo niiice!"
"Noooooo!!!"
"Why did you change your hair?"

and my personal favourite
"WHHYY did you cut your hair?!"

In reminding these people, I also need to remind myself that I am still the same person as I was with the braids, in all my ridiculous face-making glory - I AM the same woman.

Actually my hair is in pretty good condition. I tried to take care of it while I was in Brasil, using heat protecting products, any shampoo/conditioner/oil including 'karite' (shea) or Argan oil I could find; wetting my hair and running olive oil through it whenever I could remember  every other day, and conditioning, conditioning, conditioning.

So now I have healthy hair which has grown remarkably well:

...despite shrinkage making it look like I have a curly bob...

Whatever. It's my hair and I choose to make the most of it, curls and all.