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With #instalove,

Karla and Kanika x

#TexturedChats

Last night (or early this morning) I took part in a twitter conversation lead by YouTubers and Natural Hair advocates and vloggers Mahogany Curls

Subscribe to her youtube channel y'all!

and Jouelzy.

Subscribe to her channel too!!

Things like this are why I love today's society and social media. During another insomnia laden night, I was able to sit and discuss my hair, fears and issues with these women so far away from me but experiencing the same things. No matter where you live, a lot of Natural hair issues are the same.

Misconceptions about Natural Hair looking unprofessional lit a major spark in conversation. Women were commenting that in the Southern States, it was more likely to be other Black people most likely to give you a side eye if you walk in with big hair. Someone else said it was like people could only deal with Afro hair if you have perfectly defined curls so that they can compare you to Beyonce and 'understand' you and your hair this way. 

The idea of this Natural Hair movement being a lifestyle rather than a trend was an interesting topic. 

Jouelzy ‏@Jouelzy

Even if you view being natural as a lifestyle, you have to remember to not let it define u. Hair is versatile @MahoganyCurls#texturedchats

I guess for myself, it is a new way of life as it's ushered in a new way that I think about and see myself. I look in the mirror and what I see is different from what I've seen over the past 19years. But I'm growing more confident in knowing that it is all me.


The key idea was that whether it is a trend or a lifestyle, to all of these women working with their hair in its natural state was important enough that they invested real time, money and interest into discovering this element of themselves they, no, we've been fighting for so long: our hair. Just because it's not straight doesn't make us ugly or unprofessional. It's not something to stare at in confusion or disgust. If your hair stylist tries to put you off transitioning from relaxed to straightened hair - time to change stylists. If your hair stylist complains they can't do anything with your curls, tell them to subscribe to any number of YouTube channels showing which products to use, how to use them and styles to try. For me and many others I discovered, finding hair tutorials on YouTube was pivotal in my deciding having curly hair WAS something I wanted and having pretty styles WAS something I could achieve.

Most importantly, we're doing this so that our daughters will grow up seeing women with beautiful curly hair and will learn to love theirs instead of aspiring for straight blonde hair like I did as a girl. Took me a while to get here, but I'm so glad I'm here now. And I'm super glad to know that I'm not alone.

                          

                              Gotta learn to love your hair so little girls watching you will love theirs too.

Karla

The Secret to Having Long Hair...for Black Girls

"Babe, Afro hair doesn't grow like ours does. That's why they have short hair and wear fake hair. That's right isn't it?" The enlightened blonde explained to her silly boyfriend and then turns to me to back her up.

"Ummmm, no I don't think that's right", I tried to explain, but I admit, I was confused. Why wasn't my hair as long as hers? Since my hair had been relaxed, the longest it had been was bra strap length (before the 'Rachel haircut' episode. Please, I don't wanna talk about it), but I had been rocking a long bob for about 7 years at that point. Regular trimming/haircuts always resulted in my hair seeming to constantly stay the same length.

Since growing out my relaxed hair and cutting off the straight ends, I realised that the problem had been the chemicals in the relaxer. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck. The fact that I often had a burned scalp after having my curly roots relaxed combined with the fact that every day I would shake whole strands of hair out of my head when I woke up, probably did not bode well for my attempts to grow my hair long. Now, chemical free, the edges of my hair which were the most prone to breaking, are the longest they've been in years and my hair feels healthy and strong. Now's it's just a matter of time before I achieve the hair length I enjoyed as a child, BR (Before Relaxer).

Recently, my trusty YouTube suggestions guide introduced me to the video blogger Franchesca Ramsey (aka @ChescaLeigh aka the Creator of Shit White Girls Say...to Black Girls) and a product she and a few other people were advertising to those waiting and willing their hair to grow.

           

Patience.

Sometimes you just need reminding.

Karla