Just shave it all off!

One of these days I'm gonna cut all my hair.

But it's not a cute, gamine pixie cut I have in mind, I'm talking about buzzing the bad girl completely off!

Why the hell not?! It'd look great. I reckon I'd look like a pre-pubescent schoolboy but I'm ok with this. I could literally role out of bed and go about my day without having to worry about my hair. Halle-bloody-lujah!

I've wanted to do this for years, but whenever I start to think about it seriously, something stops me turning my whim in to a reality. I come up with reasons why now isn't the right time like: I haven't quite reached my hair goals, it's simply not practical, I'm job hunting!  But, you know...if I ever go travelling or something, or have a baby, I'd totally just chop it off.  For real! I'd be way too busy finding myself or nurturing my offspring to worry about the inconveniences of hair.  Unfortunately, these two life experiences aren't yet specks on my horizon, so those lame excuses don't cut it right now.

Classic Kelis - Pink ombre hair and fuchsia brows! 

Kelis and her Rainbow Brite hair are one my hairspirations. She's a ballsy woman who has the confidence to regularly change up her look, do 'weird things' to it and not give a flying frig about what anyone else things.  Cut to me, a 27 year old women who's styling choices sit on a decidedly vanilla spectrum, and who's cujones are far smaller when it comes to hair experimentation.

I've never played with different cuts or colours, never done anything drastic to my hair, and shaving it all off is as drastic as you get! Not only that, I think women with no hair look stunning. Without anything to detract from their faces their individual features take centre stage.
As a women, chopping your hair off is like a big ol' 'f*** you!' when all around you you're told that in order to be attractive, you need to tick specific boxes. No matter how much I hate this notion and others of it's ilk, I'm subject to them.


I, like most women have an emotional attachment to my hair.  If it looks good, we feel good.  But if we think it looks shit, we contemplate not even leaving the house!  For black women this can be even more acute, because from birth we have it drummed into us that our hair needs to be fixed to be acceptable. 

Skin from Skunk Anansie - another hairspiration

I thought I was pretty relaxed about my appearance and 'going natural' made me reassess how the way I look effects my mood.  Life's too short (and I'm normally running too late) to constantly strive to look perfect, once in a while's enough for me. But how I look is connected to my identity, and my hair is a big part of that.  I'd like to see how I'd feel without it.
I didn't 'go natural' to seek the approval of others but the hard fact is, I don't have guts to throw caution to the wind and do a Big Shave! I want to have more self confidence to be able to do whatever with my appearance and not be fazed by it.

But why the big deal, it'll grow back!

Yes, but....what if I hate it? What if doesn't grow back the same? What's gonna happened when I reach that annoying too long but not long enough stage?  What if, I go mental and start doing anything and everything to my hair, and it's damaged forever!

*BREATHE*

Right before Karla and I started this blog,  I thought about just Big Shaving (this could have been a bit problematic since we were supposed to be blogging about our hair!).  This time however, more than before, it felt like something I could follow through. For me, the last couple of years have had their ups and downs. I'm finally getting myself together, but this is just the beginning and sometimes the thought of spending several hours a week, and maybe money I don't have, on my hair feels like an indulgent waste.

Coming across The Bald Girl Project recently,via Twitter, egged me closer to my hairless ambition!  This tumblr belongs to Jessica, a woman who recently did what I haven't been able to and shaved her head. But not for a good cause, because of health or religious reasons, but just because it's something she's wanted to do for a while.  In the Bald Girl Project, Jessica explores her experience with self imposed baldness, other peoples perceptions, as well as discussing lady baldness in general. In the tumblr's About section she says, "I asked myself, and many others, why not!? Let's let go of this thing, this tress, and see what happens...", and that really resonated with me. So much of being a desirable, attractive woman is about being feminine.  And long, thick shiny hair is one the ingredients of being a wo-man.  How many women do you know would cut all their hair? Not because they needed to, but because they wanted to? I'm guessing not many, but why not?

I love Jada Pinkett-Smith's open letter to those criticising her for 'allowing' daughter Willow to experiment with her appearance.  This is a young lady who, in her 11 years has done more to her hair than I have in my 20-something, and she looks like she's having a whole load of fun with it!  It's so refreshing to see parents encouraging their child to have the freedom to express herself, without imposing the weight of what others may think about her personal choices.  In another recent Facebook post Jada, her mother and Willow sit down and discuss What is Freedom.  

For the time being, I've decided to stick with this hair thing.  I need to give it my best shot, (I've not in the last 3 years) and while I'm sorting my myself out, I might as well add it to my epic To Do List.  In a year's time I hope to achieve my hair goals and after that, who knows, maybe I will Big Shave.

What I do know, is that sometimes in my life I've been too cautious. Too concerned with what other people think or not invested enough in things that I want to do regardless of anyone's reaction. And that, is not the way it should be!  Because really, it's not like I'm going out breaking the law, I'm just making some choices for myself that other people may not get! And in that case, they're the ones that need to deal with it, not me.


Kanika