#TexturedChats

Last night (or early this morning) I took part in a twitter conversation lead by YouTubers and Natural Hair advocates and vloggers Mahogany Curls

Subscribe to her youtube channel y'all!

and Jouelzy.

Subscribe to her channel too!!

Things like this are why I love today's society and social media. During another insomnia laden night, I was able to sit and discuss my hair, fears and issues with these women so far away from me but experiencing the same things. No matter where you live, a lot of Natural hair issues are the same.

Misconceptions about Natural Hair looking unprofessional lit a major spark in conversation. Women were commenting that in the Southern States, it was more likely to be other Black people most likely to give you a side eye if you walk in with big hair. Someone else said it was like people could only deal with Afro hair if you have perfectly defined curls so that they can compare you to Beyonce and 'understand' you and your hair this way. 

The idea of this Natural Hair movement being a lifestyle rather than a trend was an interesting topic. 

Jouelzy ‏@Jouelzy

Even if you view being natural as a lifestyle, you have to remember to not let it define u. Hair is versatile @MahoganyCurls#texturedchats

I guess for myself, it is a new way of life as it's ushered in a new way that I think about and see myself. I look in the mirror and what I see is different from what I've seen over the past 19years. But I'm growing more confident in knowing that it is all me.


The key idea was that whether it is a trend or a lifestyle, to all of these women working with their hair in its natural state was important enough that they invested real time, money and interest into discovering this element of themselves they, no, we've been fighting for so long: our hair. Just because it's not straight doesn't make us ugly or unprofessional. It's not something to stare at in confusion or disgust. If your hair stylist tries to put you off transitioning from relaxed to straightened hair - time to change stylists. If your hair stylist complains they can't do anything with your curls, tell them to subscribe to any number of YouTube channels showing which products to use, how to use them and styles to try. For me and many others I discovered, finding hair tutorials on YouTube was pivotal in my deciding having curly hair WAS something I wanted and having pretty styles WAS something I could achieve.

Most importantly, we're doing this so that our daughters will grow up seeing women with beautiful curly hair and will learn to love theirs instead of aspiring for straight blonde hair like I did as a girl. Took me a while to get here, but I'm so glad I'm here now. And I'm super glad to know that I'm not alone.

                          

                              Gotta learn to love your hair so little girls watching you will love theirs too.

Karla

When You Gonna... Find a nice man and settle down?

"I'm not holding my tongue anymore," my mother informed me one morning last week. "By your age you really should be married. When are you going to find a nice man and settle down? You should be looking for a husband. No more of this 'just seeing how it goes' rubbish."

Thanks Mum.

The reason this came up was because I was getting ready to go visit my good friend A in Sweden for her engagement party. We had met on the first day of university 9 years ago and been friends ever since.
A and I are the same age and have been through lots of boy crap together (the Guy who dressed like a pirate, the Conjoined fingers Guy, the French Guy who arranged a date then forgot to show, the hippy Guy who turned up at the family home after the breakup...) so it's been wonderful to see her so happy and loved up with her now fiance.

However it did make me start thinking about dating, or the more English 'Seeing Someone'. Isn't it all just round after round of Spouse Auditions? Do they make you laugh? Is there chemistry? Do you have similar ambitions? Can you fart in front of them? (My mum thinks this is the litmus test of a lasting relationship.) Can you spend prolonged periods of time with this other person without wanting to kill them?

London's Natural Beauties: Exhibit B. Ami

The next installment of London's Natural Beauties was found at The London School of Samba. Dancer, NATURAL BLONDE and general French gorgeousness answers our questions.

NAME: Ami
AGE: 28
NATURAL FOR: 4 and a half years

When You Gonna: Why did you go Natural?

Ami: Because I felt like 'Natural is beautiful' and I wanted to make a statement. I had worn relaxers, weaves and stuff like all Black girls. We are made to feeling that it's prettier, easier, low maintenance and it's what you see on TV and in movies. But I felt that  my natural hair was just as beautiful so here I am.

WYG: Do you find any limitations with your natural hair?

A: My hair is curly but really fine and because it's so light, if I plait it, it makes me look bald! I need to gather a lot of hair to make a style look good.

WYG: Have you tried faux-hawks or pinning up the sides? There are lots of tutorials on Youtube...

A: No, but I definitely will!

WYG: You have such beautiful hair. Natural blonde too! Amazing. OK, finally, do you have a product that you can't live without:

A: Mizani True Textures Curl Stretch. It leaves my hair light and moisturized. I love it.

Ami's Must Have Product for light moisturizing

WYG: Thanks Ami.




**GET INVOLVED!**
If you would like to take part in this feature or know of any Natural Beauties you think we should show here GET IN TOUCH! Email us at: whenyougonnasortyourselfout@gmail.com 

(White) Girls on TV

So there was a LOT in the media recently about Lena Dunham's HBO series Girls. Unlike a lot of people, I don't really see the big deal about Lena's lack of inclusion of Black faces in her creation. Having watched the series, my initial response was controversially similar to that of Caitlin Moran's "Nope. I literally couldn't give a sh*t about it."

WHAT?! How can you say that?! I hear you exclaim.

Well, I'll tell you.


Having spent some time living and working in New York, and seeing first hand how different areas belong to different groups of people (Soho for Gays, Upper East Side for J.A.Ps, Williamsburg for Hipsters...), I recognised that Girls was Lena showing us her New York, with characters she  knew recognised and therefore could truthfully represent. The first rule of writing, according to what I've read on the internet researched, is to write about what you know. How could Lena write about the life of a Black twenty something woman having never been one and arguably, given her sheltered young New York life, never experienced second hand? I guess she could have gone against the grain and just had one of the characters played by a Black actress but that wouldn't be true to the character or the world she was creating. Why should Caitlin Moran comment on it if this what was she understood from the show as I did?

I read an article by the Guardian's Hadley Freeman who grew up in New York and on moving to the UK in her teens, was shocked when watching Eastenders to see a married inter-racial couple (Carol and Alan Jackson fact fans) where their race wasn't made into an issue or a storyline. That was nearly a decade ago.

A couple of weeks after the Girls debate, a huge fuss was made over Kerry Washington taking the lead role in new drama Scandal, about a female criminal investigator. I wanted to congratulate the States for catching up with us, but then I was forced to take a look at the most popular TV shows over here. The Only Way Is Essex, Coronation Street, *sigh* Made In Chelsea... Where are the Black faces there? Having been to university in Manchester where I was asked probing questions such as “Can you tan?” and “Can you cook jerk anything else apart from chicken?” I can vouch that there is a distinct lack of ethnic folk in the North West so Corrie is quite representative of its area. However the others don't have particularly diverse casts. By the way, Hollyoaks, I see what you're doing and I don't care for it. Trying to trick us with mixed race actors and calling them Black. Nice try. It's not good enough.

Where can I see women like me on my screen? Turns out the answer is... on Youtube.

Through a series of coincidences (being bored at work) I discovered Issa Rae's Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl. We get to see our heroine, J, go through incidences we can all relate to and cringe in memory of – bumping into people multiple times (are you meant to say hi every time?) office crushes causing you to high five yourself to disguise a mis-read waving situation, uncomfortable dates, wondering when and if he's ever going to kiss you... The greatest strength of this show is its relatability. It recognises race without making it the overriding feature. The actors aren't all talking 'ghetto', patting their weaves and eating chicken. J has natural hair but other characters sport weaves, relaxed hair, braids, waves. You root for her regardless of her race. You root for her as a person with awkward tendencies.

              

Then I found The Couple. A fly on the wall type show following a 20something couple as they go about their daily lives, highlighting incidences anyone who's ever been in a couple can understand. Backseat driving. How pathetic he is when he's ill. How annoying she can be when she won't let you order the same thing as her so you can share food. (I do this. Sorry guys.)

         



Most recently, I've come across The Unwritten Rules. Racey starts a new job and finds herself the only Black person in her 'work family'. She has to manage being new with her co-workers and her boss constantly asking about her food, her hair, making her dance at parties and set ups with Other Black Folk. This episode I can relate to - being considered a Whack Girl (a White Black Girl - this is a post ALL of its own) and not completely fitting in with her White or Black colleagues... Hmm.

            

Black Youtube channels like I Am Other (created by Pharrell Williams, my future ex), Inkspot Entertainment and Black&SexyTV which celebrate those who identify with more than one race or culture, and provide content that myself and so many of my fellow melting pot generation counterparts can relate to. People getting on and recognising culture while moving forward, without stereotypes and segregation being thrown up all around us. I can't wait to see some of these things in mainstream media (where is this generation's Moesha or Sister Sister?) but with social media, Youtube and the rise of other online channels, we don't need to worry so much about representation on one show on one network by one New York wunderkind. We are being represented elsewhere and it is only a matter of time before the mainstream follows.


Karla

Brainwrap Comedy Cinema

Last night I dragged my friend O to a comedy shorts night called Brainwrap Comedy Cinema in Peckham (Perfect location, eh, as you need a sense of humour if you're going to live in Peckham ha ha ha...anyway.) Since being made redundant last month, I have been paying a lot more attention to my love of comedy. I started going to improv classes (Tina Fey started out doing improv, so...) and comedy nights and will be starting a course in comedy sketch writing in January because, at the ripe old age of 27 it's time that I did something I enjoy: combining my love of writing and comedy. Plus, y'know, YOLO (Ugh, sorry I hate myself for writing that.)

Anyway, one night after a class, a dude called Stefan starting talking about this night he and his friends were putting together, and I took a flyer out of politeness. On closer inspection (looking it up on facebook) it seemed cool so I mentioned it to O and off we went.

The CLF Art Cafe is a tiny piece of Shoreditch slap bang in the middle of Peckham Rye High Street. You turn off the street into a little doorway next to closed down bookshops, walk through a walkway decorated with posters asking you to be quiet, into a courtyard with graffitid images of rats and snakes painted all around the walls. We went up one floor and were welcomed by smiley women into a dimly let, very atmospheric space with an cool eclectic mix of music playing (bravo DJ Stefan) and cakes and pastries displayed temptingly on the bar. We got our reasonably priced replenishments (a spinach pastry and bottle of Merlot. Classy) and sat ourselves down in wait to be entertained.

The Secret to Having Long Hair...for Black Girls

"Babe, Afro hair doesn't grow like ours does. That's why they have short hair and wear fake hair. That's right isn't it?" The enlightened blonde explained to her silly boyfriend and then turns to me to back her up.

"Ummmm, no I don't think that's right", I tried to explain, but I admit, I was confused. Why wasn't my hair as long as hers? Since my hair had been relaxed, the longest it had been was bra strap length (before the 'Rachel haircut' episode. Please, I don't wanna talk about it), but I had been rocking a long bob for about 7 years at that point. Regular trimming/haircuts always resulted in my hair seeming to constantly stay the same length.

Since growing out my relaxed hair and cutting off the straight ends, I realised that the problem had been the chemicals in the relaxer. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck. The fact that I often had a burned scalp after having my curly roots relaxed combined with the fact that every day I would shake whole strands of hair out of my head when I woke up, probably did not bode well for my attempts to grow my hair long. Now, chemical free, the edges of my hair which were the most prone to breaking, are the longest they've been in years and my hair feels healthy and strong. Now's it's just a matter of time before I achieve the hair length I enjoyed as a child, BR (Before Relaxer).

Recently, my trusty YouTube suggestions guide introduced me to the video blogger Franchesca Ramsey (aka @ChescaLeigh aka the Creator of Shit White Girls Say...to Black Girls) and a product she and a few other people were advertising to those waiting and willing their hair to grow.

           

Patience.

Sometimes you just need reminding.

Karla

London's Natural Beauties - Exhibit A. Ama

The road to having glorious Natural Hair rarely runs smoothly, and every now and then we need inspirational people to look at and remind ourselves that it's not all for nothing. That although natural hair styles may not be represented widely in the media, we have fabulous ladies representing all over our fair city.

This feature is to recognise some of London's Natural Beauties (...hence the title).

NAME: Ama
AGE: 28
NATURAL FOR:  10 years (Locs-aversary 3 years this September)

When You Gonna:  Why did you go natural?

Ama: I decided it would be healthier for my hair and I had memories of having amazing hair as a kid.  My hair was relaxed when I was 7 and by 18 I felt ready for a change. I'd seen a small image of a woman with beautiful Natural hair in 2-strand twists in Black Hair magazine and had an urge. So I cut my hair off and got that do.

W: What one product could you not live without?

A: Moischa made by my hair salon, Adornment 365. A little bit on my hands and spread evenly through my locs leaves them feeling completely moisturised and healthy. Actually, can I have 2 products?

WYG: Go on then.

A: OK, my second would be Jamaican Black Castor Oil.  Old school but it works. I go to the Naturally Thinking shop in Carshalton or order online to get ingredients to mix with it, such as grapeseed oil, extra virgin coconut oil, avocado oil and essences such as bitter orange and vanilla to get a smell I like. I mix them all in a bottle and spritz it on my locs to retain moisture that way.

Ama's 2nd Must Have

WYG: Thanks Ama, that's all amazing. Finally do you have any top tips for our readers?

A: Yeah, if you like to mix oils or hair treatments, keep them in dark or aluminium bottles to stop the oils from oxidising and losing their goodness.

WYG: Awesome.


**GET INVOLVED!**
If you would like to take part in this feature or know of any Natural Beauties you think we should show here GET IN TOUCH! Email us at: whenyougonnasortyourselfout@gmail.com 

Hair story so far...part 1

The different definitions of what it is to be ‘Natural’ are as varied as there are heads of hair. For some this means sticking to strict regimes that cut out chemicals, heat styling and other techniques that can be damaging to hair.  But for others it’s as simple as consigning the creamy crack to room101. 

For us being natural translates as, trying to cut down on things like sulphates, silicones, reducing heat use and using natural products where possible; but whatever happens - NO CHEMICAL STRAIGHTENER!

Neither one of us are Natural Nazis, we don’t follow elaborate set routines and don’t do a great deal with our hair.  We’re at different stages of our hair journey but we are both determined to persevere with this Natural stuff, to learn more, experiment more and take care of what it is growing out of our scalps!

So, how did we go from curly to straight to curly again? ......Read on.

Kanika’s hair story

Protective styling 'n' profiling

My hair has been never chemically straightened, but that did not equate with healthy hair...   Operation Healthy Natural Hair started in November 2009, but 3 years on I haven’t reached my hair goals and I still have a lot to learn. 

I’m a low maintenance kinda gal who’s never done much to my hair and is pretty useless at styling it. But in spite of that, or maybe because of it, my hair was always thick, strongish and lengthy. Unfortunately, my persistent thinning and dry ends with their splits aplenty, were a tell tale sign that my barnet was in need of some extra TLC. I was always told I had ‘good hair’, but that was little consolation when it never seemed to behave itself and I struggled to retain length, something I just got used to and accepted. The culprit: too much blowdrying, not enough conditioning and some heavy handed treatment.

So proud I could cry

I'm not American and I've already spoken about the weighted attention I think we in the UK pay to the US, but this is different. I remember four years ago when Barack Obama first got elected, waking up and feeling that the world was different. Now little Black boys everywhere could look up to someone, the President of the United States of America and say out loud, "If he can do that - not least with a name as ethnic as Barack Obama - so can I".

Finally rappers, gangsters and perpetrators of the benefits of so called 'Thug Life' had competition, there was someone else for little boys to look up to and aspire to be like. A man who stands for progress, from introducing something resembling a fair healthcare system to America (I still can't believe how many people had to suffer because of how expensive PRESCRIPTIONS are) to acknowledging that people in love should be able to get married, whether they are gay or straight.

My sister had a little boy last year and I can only say how happy I am that he is growing up in a time where he will always be able to know there was a Black face (yes, yes, I know Barack is mixed race, but he's literally the same shade as my nephew, so...) and a whole Black family (no absentee dads here!) in the White House.


Thank you America for voting, and thank you Barack Obama for being awesome.



Karla

Sandy VS The World

When will we get over our obsession with New York? Don't get me wrong, I've lived and worked in the Big Apple and love it just as much as the next guy but come on London! Friends, Sex and The City, Woody Allen - I blame you.

Hurricane Sandy, the affectionately named 'SuperStorm' hit the Caribbean about two weeks ago causing irreparable damage and claiming lives across the board in countries such as Jamaica, Cuba, the Dominican Republic and poor old Haiti, still coming back from last years' devastating earthquake.

This week, however, all over the press were images of people sailing to the house next door to borrow a power cable or amusing signs in front of shops declaring themselves bruised but not broken and fully stocked with beer for people to drink and forget their problems.

Harlem - Surviving and imbibing!
via gramfeed.com

Now I'm not trying to make light of what is clearly a city's efforts to maintain morale and rebuild itself after homes were ruined and lives were lost... I just ask where the coverage from the rest of the devastation is? Where can I find amusing images of notes to Sandy with love from Kingston. Pictures of power cables sticking out of houses for those without power to use? Barak Obama isn't going down there to ensure the rescue effort is as efficient as it should be - even if Portia Simpson Miller or Michael Joseph Martelly is touring the Jamaica or Haiti, how would we even know?!

I just want to see one appeal for these guys, a few photos in the corner of page 2 to show they're doing ok and then I'll shut up.



Karla